As mentioned, for the third time in a row, I was stuck. I probably looked a bit defeated. Until, at one point, a Japanese man approached me and asked if he could help.

The reason I tell this story is to illustrate the concept of empathy, more specifically the difference between empathy and compassion. Empathy (with ‘E’ as the fifth letter of the corporate culture alphabet) is perhaps one of the concepts with the most untapped potential.

Empathy means being able to view a situation from another personâ€s perspective. If a friendâ€s cat dies, your reaction might be: “Oh no, terrible news. I once lost a cat too, and I was devastated.” Thatâ€s compassion. You put yourself in the other person’s shoes and imagine how you would feel. Empathy, in this case, would mean wondering how that person feels. Without reflecting it back to yourself. How does that person feel? Why do they feel that way? How long have they felt like this? Etc.

To come back to my Japanese debacle. If that man who approached me had only felt compassion, he might have thought to himself: “Iâ€ve been tired before, so tired that I just stood still in the middle of the city.” That wouldnâ€t have really helped me personally. The fact that he wondered why I was standing there looking bewildered, without reflecting on what it would mean for him, ultimately led me to my destination. He was kind enough to give me detailed directions and walk part of the way with me.

Iâ€m telling this because I think empathy and compassion are often confused. Both in marketing and in human resources, I advocate for an empathy revolution.

By breaking away from “how would I feel in that customer or employeeâ€s place” and moving towards “how does that person feel,” just that.

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Compassion isnâ€t a bad thing, and it could even be what the person is looking for, but it should be contingent upon empathy.

Empathy isnâ€t imagining how you would feel in their place. Empathy is imagining how they feel.

When somebody (finally) musters up the courage to share what theyâ€re going through with their manager, try to really see it from their perspective.

I propose a reverse Sinek.

What are they actually feeling? How did they end up feeling this way? Why do they feel this way?

Try this approach next time empathy is required.

Bonus tip: empathy is always required.

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