unpreparedness

When somebody breaks into my apartment in the middle of the night, I swear I’ll show them… hesitation, for a split second. Immediately after, I’ll defer to a personal contingency plan. One that I’ve played many times in my head. A plan that, up until now, I’ve had to invoke twice, in two different places. Some extraordinary (and potentially traumatic) situations are nevertheless straightforward enough to envision ourselves react in a certain way, should they occur.

Until it actually happens. Suddenly the reaction is entirely different than planned. Worse, acute paralysis could momentarily take over. Perish the thought a situation manifests itself, one that can’t be anticipated.

Sometimes, bright academics lecture students — and general audiences through (social) media — without any hands-on experience whatsoever. You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?

Preparing theoretically and practically are two entirely different things.

reread your reviews

Negativity is (still) on the rise in the media. Often expressed in terms of casualties, events have to be increasingly dramatic to make the cut and pass the obscure negativity threshold. Truly tragic.

In our day-to-day (personal or professional) relationships, there is an ill-fated tendency to focus on negativity as well. One “compliment day” per year spawns cheap, obligatory compliments but is by no means sufficient. “Nice sweater!” “Thanks, I guess?” Not a plea for incessantly bestowing one another with compliments. However, remembering and revisiting the genuine compliments you received is immensely valuable.

Make a note with a bulleted list, call it: “I’m great.” Every time you receive a compliment, write it down in that particular note. When you feel down or stuck in a rut, have a glance at your list. Even better, throughout your morning, make a habit of thinking about that list.

In need of a kickstart? Friendly people that have used Airbnb, or any other service that requires two-way reviews for that matter, can copy-paste the reviews they received. They’re usually quite nice.

Receiving five stars reviews should account for something. Especially coming from someone you don’t really know, in some cases haven’t even met. Be the person that gives proverbial five stars reviews to the people around you, so they can score some “I’m great” entries.

i trust you with all my money

We would like to confide in politicians to spend (our tax) money wisely and effectively. However, without proper economic and financial knowledge on their part, the desire is somewhat naive.

Suppose they can make up for lack of economic knowledge in domain knowledge, specifically the domain(s) the politician is deemed responsible for. Would the knowledge gaps balance themselves out? If all politicians understand their domain through and through, represent it adequately, the “market” could regulate itself.

What happens if one shouts louder than the other, though? The balance becomes skewed.

An all-encompassing economic layer should be spanned on top of all the other layers as a control mechanism. Yet, what’s true of economics is likely also true of health or education, just to name a couple of domains.

Constructive dialogue is the key here. Assuming it’s incredibly challenging to be an expert in all different domains simultaneously, we should defer to enforcing constructive dialogue within a democratic setting.

diamond density

At about sixteen years old, I woke up from a failed surgery. Doctors wanted to operate on fibral displacement in my face. Fibral displacement refers to bone and tissue presence in the body, in places where it shouldn’t be, also associated with benign tumors.

Afterward, the surgeons told me that they could not remove the bone, wrecking their drills and equipment while trying. Everybody involved had mixed feelings. On the one hand, with the fibral displacement gone, my situation would have improved. On the other hand, the surgeons were seemingly astonished due to the fact they crushed their equipment. Claiming the density was greater than that of diamonds.

A heck of a oneliner. One I’ve used a couple dozen times, even though it’s hard for me to verify the authenticity of the claim.

The more authority somebody has, the faster and easier we are inclined to believe them. Nevertheless, critical analysis and healthy skepticism shouldn’t decrease depending on the level of authority.

harmony is a mentality

Harmony is generally perceived as a pleasant sensation. In nature, society, music, just to name a few domains. Arguably, there aren’t many domains where harmony isn’t perceived as pleasant. Why do we deliberately steer away from harmony so often?

Collectivism, for one, contributes to societal harmony. “Hofstede’s cultural dimensions” model points out that Asian countries generally score higher on collectivism than European countries and the United States. Consequently, making it easier for Asian countries to get a grip on a pandemic. Supposedly due to the harmonic attunement of its citizens, among others. Highly individualistic cultures, on the other hand, appear to have a more challenging time.

Culture is like a state of mind, achieved as a side effect from being a product of one’s environment. We can study cultures. We can empathize with them, but it’s hard to learn to behave in a specific cultural way. Harmony is a mentality, influenced by culture.

beget regret

As the old saying goes, you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. By the time that particular feeling of absence kicks in, it’s often already too late to revert. For the regrets we inadvertently add to our list, most of them stem from things that we didn’t do, rather than did do.

Some regrets materialize near-instantly, where others take time to grow, perhaps even intensifying over time. Certainly, those regrets were preceded by an uneasy, weary feeling. Let’s call it gut-feeling for now.

How does one quantify gut feeling? It’s as if some intestine intelligence consistently beats our brain in a drag race towards understanding.
At times, the cerebral understanding of what our bellies are signaling comes but a split second later. Other times, it takes years.

If we can confide in ourselves and feel a regret starting to manifest itself, chances are, we most likely will end up regretting it. Hence, trust the gut, or get regret added to your stack.

confront earlier

Explaining an idea should be straightforward, although, in reality, it’s usually complicated. Looking at the world’s greatest minds, their abilities to simplify inextricably complicated concepts is astonishing. The capacity to describe something unconceived is ostensibly an inestimable skill to master.

Even in true “show, don’t tell” fashion. The potential for the idea’s inventor to overcomplicate the concept is real. Simplifying isn’t easy.

Adhering to lean principles, to get feedback on an idea as early as possible, measure the results, and build upon it is the way to go. If that means tinkering your way to an early prototype, be prepared to get your hands dirty. Improvise with paper, scissors, and glue if you must.

If you ship the first version of your product when you are satisfied with it, you have shipped too late. Confront your target audience with a very early manifestation of your idea. One that you’re both slightly ashamed of, yet audacious enough to show to the outside world.

ageing fear

As humans grow increasingly older, it seems as if we understand the process of aging itself less. The elderly are often treated like toddlers, which is belittling and disrespectful.

Imagine a lifetime of pursuing profound intellectual and emotional experiences, to be received with kindergarten activities towards the end.

Perhaps treating elderly people like kids is a terribly flawed coping mechanism to help us deal with collective gerascophobia. Ever so disgraceful.

stress by proxy

When someone you care about is in a stressful situation, and we’re overcome by this jittery feeling, it seems as if we can feel stress vicariously.

Not the kind of stress a parent feels when they arranged with their child to be home before midnight, and it’s two in the morning. Sick with worry, the angst is fed by not knowing where their kid is. Not knowing is always bothersome.

The kind of stress a parent feels when they’re nervous about their kid’s examination. The anxiety a partner feels when their loved one undergoes surgery. The disturbing inability to change a situation can eat us alive.

Stress by proxy isn’t all bad. Apart from being an apparent nuisance, it’s a visceral reminder of how much we care about a person.

unwanted advice

Advice, unasked for, is doomed to be dismissed. Your heart in the right place combined with the best, most cordial intentions is no match for advice predestined to be ignored.

What if you see a loved one about to make a mistake? A mistake that you’ve made in the past, or one you were able to avoid. If someone you care about is going through a situation you went through and struggled with, is it not your moral duty to let them in on ways you coped with the circumstances?

Barraging that person with advice isn’t likely to create much of an impression. Determine the willingness of that particular person to receive advice first. Find out if there are any aspects in particular that they would like help with. Without knowing how susceptible your counterpart is, you’re pretty much preaching to the choir.